When did looking after our own needs become such a guilty pleasure or a selfish act? The burning question that I consistently return to is at what point does a women start putting EVERYBODIES needs before and at the detriment of their own? As I make inroads into my own journey surrounding self care, the stories of countless woman along the way echo in my ears. These women are smart, strong and beautiful and possess a light within them that is powerful beyond all measure BUT along their journey they have lost sight of who they are. When they stop and look around their lives they find they don’t recognise the things that once brought them joy and happiness.
I don’t think its until we come to a complete stand still that we are able to fully comprehend how utterly vital and important this is to get right. Life is so so busy and between trying to make the mortgage repayments, keeping up with every gadget for our kids and having more clothes in our wardrobes then anyone could possibly wear, we have lost sight of what life is all about. Putting every bodies needs before our own, becomes a way of life. There is this sense of emptiness which we attempt to satisfy by buying a bigger house, booking the next trip away, and striving for the next promotion. We pour every last ounce of our energy, passion and joy into the happiness of our kids, husbands, work places and friends until there is NOTHING left for us. We use these external factors as a way to validate who we are and for us to feel good about ourselves. And at first we feel amazing. We feel important, selfless and like a ‘good’ person should. These feelings feed our ego and we keep going on this cycle until our cup has run dry and we reach breaking point. Our bodies physically force us to stop, one way or another. We are normally so out of tune with ourselves and our bodies that we have NO idea what or why this is happening. Our egos have run the show for so long that we consider this a sign of “weakness” and we feel like we are failing.
However, if we quieten the noise and dig a little deeper there is a golden opportunity right in front of us to take stock and revaluate what is truly important. Making the time to reflect on what has brought us to where we are right now gives us the chance to stop looking outside of ourselves for the answers to happiness. Very often all it takes is one small step in the right direction to make change. And if you can’t do it for yourself to begin with, do it to help inspire and encourage others to find the courage to do the same.
“I have met my self and I am going to care for her fiercely.”
― Glennon Doyle Melton